


X Marks The Sitch

by Katiebug586



Category: Fillmore!, Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Crossover, Kidnapping, Mistaken Identity, Ron and O'Farrell - Dream team of the century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug586/pseuds/Katiebug586
Summary: One normal day, Kim and Ron are called over to X Middle School after a strange break-in the previous night leaves not only a stolen mysterious 'superweapon' but also a missing Junior Commissioner.Kim teams up with Fillmore and Ingrid to bring the culprit to justice while Ron finds someone who might be his spirit animal.
Relationships: Cornelius Fillmore & Ingrid Third, Kim Possible/Ron Stoppable
Kudos: 8





	X Marks The Sitch

(This takes place BEFORE the Graduation Finale)

Minnesota, oh how we love you and your especially your crazy and wild weather. Despite the blazing late-May heat in the day, by nightfall, the temperature drops significantly, chilling the northern air and anyone foolish enough to still be outside during the night. Unfortunately, some people didn’t exactly have a choice when it came to wandering around during such times.

The Junior Commissioner walked down one of X Middle School’s many hallways, done with another late-night shift of neverending paperwork.

A loud crash at the end of the corridor diverted his thoughts away from leaving and he quickly made his way over to the source of the noise. Getting over there, he noticed a classroom door with the window smashed and his curiosity and role in the Safety Patrol beckoned him to investigate it.

As he picked up a piece of glass, a dark and ominous shadow loomed behind him, causing him to couldn’t help but feel like he was being watched, and he was. He finally turned around, catching sight of the shadowy figure and jumped up in surprise before scowling and attempting to stand his ground, trying to seem intimidating. “Leave, don’t make me use force.”

Unfortunately, this act of bravery wasn’t enough to scare the attacker away, they saw right through the illusion, only seeing a bluffing and terrified child. They grinned maliciously, knowing full well the Junior Commissioner couldn’t take them on. But was there something more to this person standing in their way? “I don’t think so. Besides, you have too much worth in this situation for me to just lose you, _Wade.”_

“Huh? I’m not-” Before the rather frightened Junior Commissioner could correct the imposing figure, they lunged straight at him. “Wait!”

Later that day, Kim Possible and Ron were eating in the cafeteria, their usual lunch hangout spot. Ron was busy scarfing down a burger while complaining about his day.

“It was _totally_ ridiculous, KP, you should’ve been there! That Hall Monitor had no business writing me up like that, all because I was chewing gum! Talk about overkill.”

Rufus nodded, taking a bite out of another burger. “Mhm! Overkill!”

She let out a weary sigh before deciding to give her own input. “I know it _sounds_ like overkill, but the Hall Monitor was just watching out for everyone. You know what they say, rules are rules.”

“Says every dictator ever. Say what you want, but my point still stands. Hall Monitors and all those other wanna-be teacher’s pets are the absolute _worst._ They abuse their power simply because they have it and give you no freedom or peace of mind, we must RETALIATE!” Ron raised his fist triumphantly in the air and Rufus mimicked him.

Kim rolled her eyes at her boyfriend’s shenanigans, though she still held onto a slight smile. He was such a doofus and she loved him so, so much. However, her peaceful thoughts and hopes of having an uneventful day were interrupted when the Kimmunicator beeped in her pocket. She picked it up and turned it on. “Hey, Wade, what’s the sitch?”

Through the computer screen, Wade types a few buttons on his many computers, looking over something that Kim couldn’t see. “It’s not good. We have several reports from X Middle School that Drakken-”

“Of course It’s Drakken,” Ron groaned, hiding his face. “When is it _not_ Drakken?!”

“Ron!” Kim reprimanded her boyfriend, before sheepishly turning back towards Wade. “Sorry, he’s had a rough day.”

“I know, I saw it, Billy’s a merciless Hall Monitor, which leads me to my next point,” Wade continued, pressing buttons on his computer. “We have several reports from X Middle School that Drakken broke in around eleven-thirty last night and not only stole something important to the school but also kidnapped Junior Commissioner Vallejo as well.”

“Junior Commissioner, what’s that?” Ron leaned over Kim’s shoulder, his voice muffled by the fries he was currently stuffing into his mouth.

“It’s… uh…” Wade seemed apprehensive to continue talking as if he was hiding something. “The highest rank in the Safety Patrol, which from what I gathered, is a professional and elite program set in some schools in Minnesota, Tennessee, and Texas. They solve crimes that happened in their school, so think of it as school cops?”

“Great,” Ron muttered, eating another handful of fries. “Just when I thought that there was no student position _worse_ than Hall Monitor. I mean, if _they_ solve crimes, why can’t _they_ solve this one?”

“Nice try, Ron,” Kim smiled, knowing what her boyfriend was up to. “Besides, I don’t really think kidnapping is in their jurisdiction.”

“What _is_ in their jurisdiction then, huh? Finding out who pushed Timmy in a locker?”

“Not quite,” Wade interjected. “More like finding out who vandalized the stalls or hacked the school computers.”

“That was gonna be my next guess!”

Kim ignored Ron’s attempt to gain the upper-hand in the conversation. “Whatever the case is, we’ll be there. _Right,_ Ron?”

_“I guess,_ not like I have anything better to do. Come on Rufus, let’s go.” Rufus squeaked and jumped into Ron’s pocket, though he also seemed upset and grouchy over the whole situation as well.

Kim sighed and looked back towards her Kimmunicator. “See you around, Wade.”

“See ya.” Wade nodded and signed off. 

X Middle School was nearly three times as big as Middleton High and getting to the Principal’s Office was a literal nightmare. The two heroes and molerat had to dodge marching band students, students simply lounging around in the halls, and the occasional protestor protesting about one thing or the other.

Ron, already exhausted, leaned against a random locker. “This is a madhouse, how do people live like this?! The… The walls are closing in, where’s my bag?!”

Rufus handed him a spare paper bag as he grabbed it and began to panicky breathe in and out of it, trying to get a grip on himself. Kim couldn’t help but feel pity for her boyfriend and decided to try to talk some sense into him. “Ron, relax, we won’t be here too long. We just gotta find the principal’s office and get the sitch, alright?”

Ron took the bag away from his mouth and looked at Kim. “Really?”

“Really.” She smiled lightly, causing him to smile back as well.

Before they could walk away and continue their wild goose chase, the locker door between them suddenly slammed open, nearly hitting Ron in the face. A blonde Cheerleader jumped out, holding some sort of basket with an assortment of goodies inside.

“Hi! I’m- Wait, you’re not Micky Gough… you’re… you’re _the_ Kim Possible!”

“Yep, that’s me,” Kim affirmed. “And you are?”

“Oh, silly old me, I forgot to introduce myself! I’m Sherri Shalter, and I’m part of the X Middle School welcome wagon! It’s my job between cheerleading practice to welcome new students to our incredible school, but that’s nothing compared to what you do, you lovable spy! And we really need a spy right about now. You see, the school has been in a bit of a rut ever since our beloved Junior Commissioner disappeared last night, along with our guaranteed victory at the science fair!”

“About that, we’re kind of lost. Maybe you could help us find the principal’s office?”

“Of course! Anything for Kim Possible and her amazing sidekick Ren!”

“It’s _Ron,_ ” Rather bugged and insulted, he corrected the happy-go-lucky girl, “Why does _everyone_ get my name wrong?!”

“Right, Ron, sorry! Anyways, just follow me!”

The hallways certainly didn’t lighten the load and the three teenagers had to dodge even more club lunatics and theatre kids, but at least they had a guide now. After a little bit more walking and dodging, they finally arrived at where they needed to be.

“I’d love to stay and chat with you two, but I’m a very busy lady, welcoming everyone and all that, tee-hee, see you later!” Sherri pranced away giddily, leaving the two alone once more.

Ron looked at his girlfriend. “You… You ready?”

She nodded and knocked on the door. A few moments of silence passed before a strained and tired voice spoke through. “Come in.”

Pretty soon, they found themselves seated and talking to the principal of X Middle School, Principal Folsom, talking to her about the case and what she knew about it.

“So you’re familiar with this… Dr. Drakken?” She asked, while the vice-principal, Raycliff, took notes behind her.

“Uh-huh! He’s like Kim’s arch-enemy!” Ron stated, throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis.

Kim, on the other hand, had another and probably more urgent question. “My question is, what is the other thing that Drakken stole? What does it do?”

Folsom let out a forced laugh, trying her best to seem presentable. “Heck if I know. All the information that the science geniuses gave us was that it was going to win the science fair and that they can’t tell us in fear of the opposing party getting a hold of it or something.”

“It’s like they say,” Ron said, a smug look on his face. “A magician never reveals their secrets.”

The principal scoffed, a small, but noticeable smile on her face. “We’ve had enough of _those_ kinds of kids around here.”

  
  


“It _is_ a big school,” Kim commented, remembering the plight of terror the two had both felt back in the hallways before Sherri came to their rescue. “How does anything get done around here?”

“Unfortunately that’s one of the questions I can’t answer, call it a miracle. But if you’re afraid of getting lost, thankfully a few of our remaining patrollers have volunteered to help you two know the layout of the school, perhaps even find a few clues for our case. They _are_ pretty impressive detectives.”

“Oh, thanks,” Kim replied, sheepishly. While they were used to working alone, having a few ‘detectives’ on the case wouldn’t be that bad. “The more the merrier. Who _exactly_ is working with us?”

The door to the office was opened and a boy with a green shirt, glasses and an orange sash stepped in. “Principal Folsom- Uh, is this a bad time?”

Principal Folsom shook her head, not bothered by the interruption in the slightest. “Not at all, actually! In fact, this is probably the best time for you to pop in my office, Fillmore!”

“It is?” Fillmore asked, before noticing Kim and Ron. “Oh, hey.”

“Who’s-”

“Fillmore, Cornelius Fillmore, officer of the Safety Patrol.” He responded, interrupting Ron’s question. “You don’t need to introduce yourselves, though. I already know who you are, _everyone_ does around here.”

“Well, I’d feel like it’d be rude not to say hello,” Kim began, getting out of her seat. “So, hello.”

“Hi.” Ron bluntly responded, clearly still having an issue with working with the close relatives of the dreaded Hall Monitors.

“Pleasure to meet you. So, you _actually_ know this whack job?”

“Do you mean Drakken or do you mean Ron?” Kim asked though she knew who Fillmore really meant. 

While Ron glared at his girlfriend, Fillmore smirked, going along with the joke. “Both, I suppose. But mostly the Drakken dude.”

“Right, well, to answer your question, we’ve unfortunately had the pleasure of meeting him _dozens_ of times. Too many to count at this point, way too many headaches for me to deal with. Well, I say it’s about time we figure this out, you coming Ron?”

“Coming.” Ron pushed himself out of his seat and followed the two as they began to exit the room and back into the chaotic and messy hallway of doom and torture. Principal Folsom said some goodbyes but it was drowned out by the noise of chatty teenagers and drama queens.

“So, how _do_ you deal with all this?” Kim asked the Safety Patrol officer, wondering if she could get an actual answer from somebody who truly put themselves out into this asylum nearly every day of their lives, excluding weekends and holidays.

Fillmore shrugged, unsure of the answer himself. “Dunno, guess I just got used to it. You kinda have to here, it’s a dog eat dog school. On the subject of animals, cool pet you got there.”

Ron’s rather sour expression changed upon hearing those words, looking towards his furless and hypoallergenic companion in his pocket. “You think Rufus is cool? The Hall Monitors at our school always told me to keep him at home, but he deserves better!”

“Well, we’re not that kind of people. It’d be entirely hypocritical of me to say you can’t have a pet when I have a pet fish at HQ. Speaking of which, we’re here.” They stopped in front of a door which simply said ‘SAFETY PATROL HEADQUATERS (AND GLEE CLUB ANNEX)’.

“What’s the Glee Club part for?” Ron asked.

“Just another one of the countless numbers of clubs at X Middle School,” Fillmore said, opening the door. “After you.”

The three entered the room, ready to get down to business. It looked like what Kim or Ron expected of an HQ ran by barely pubescent teenagers. It was rather trashed, chairs and desks overturned, papers on the ground, a general aura of chaos. Students, all with the same orange sash that Fillmore wore, were running around chaotically and sporadically. One even held a sign that read ‘THE END IS NIGH.’

“Sorry about the mess,” Fillmore began, rubbing the back of his neck. “Usually it doesn’t look like the aftermath of one of our office parties, but without Vallejo around, people have been getting a bit of out of hand, to put it lightly.”

Before he could say anything else, another safety patroller walked up to them, her black hair and outfit glaringly obvious in the LED-filled light of the room. “I see you finally found our knights in shining armor.”

“Hey, Ingrid,” Fillmore gave Ingrid a small fist bump. “How’s everything been since I left? Has Anza managed to calm everything down?”

Ingrid rolled her eyes, a small smirk on her face. “You have eyes, Fillmore, look around you. Does this place _look_ any calmer than before?”

“I guess you got a point there. But not to worry, I have the answer to most of our problems right here,” He pointed to Kim, who just smiled and waved in return. “Oh, and her partner, Ron.”

“Of course, welcome, both of you. Sorry that we didn’t have the opportunity to meet on pleasanter times, but you can never tell _when_ a crime is going to strike, unfortunately.”

“Trust me, I know,” At least the Possible had _this_ in common with the patrollers, even if the same couldn’t be said for their age or profession. They always had to deal with _some kind_ of disturbance. “I promise we’ll find Drakken, just as soon as I get more info from my friend, Wade, on where he’s hiding.”

While the two girls continued to converse, Ron looked around the office, already getting bored out of his mind. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something or rather, someone, who perked his interest. In the back of the room, there was a small ginger boy trying to work the cocoa machine to no avail. He pressed a button, only for the machine to decide that it hated him and spit cocoa in his face, causing him to fall on the ground.

Something about this kid awoken something deep within Ron, like a spiritual connection. He walked away from the group and over to the seventh-grader, who was rubbing the excess cocoa water off of their face. “You okay?”

They looked up and nodded. “Yea, I’m fine. Wait, you’re Ron Stoppable, you really _are_ here!”

“Booyah!” Ron triumphantly cheered. “Someone who isn’t Kim or my family actually _knows_ who I am!”

“Of course I know who you are,” The boy said, getting up. “You’re my hero!”

“I… I am?!”

“Yea! Oh, I forgot to tell you my name! I’m O’Farrell! I do the photography around here and all that junk.” O’Farrell walked over, wanting to get closer to his idol, but slipped on the leftover cocoa, landing on his back. “Ow, I’m okay.”

Ron helped the boy back up, feeling even more relaxed and comforted by O’Farrell’s presence. The fact that there was somebody out there who was just as weird and unusual as him was an extremely ‘boo-yah!’ worthy moment. “Finally, someone I can actually get down with, everyone else seems, I don’t know, cool and collected.”

“Tell me about it,” The photographer muttered, looking rather downcast. “I’m not exactly the most respected guy here, everyone just thinks I’m that odd and unusual boy that can’t do anything right. But I’m not, I can do tons of things right!”

Ron knelt down and put his hand on O’Farrell’s shoulder. “Listen, dude, don’t let them tell you that being the odd one out or the black sheep in the squad is a bad thing! Live your life your way, not the way they want you to live it!” 

There was a small twinkle in the kid’s eyes as he took in Ron’s words. “Wow, that was the most inspiring thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Looks like Ron’s found a new friend.” The two turned to see Kim, Fillmore, and Ingrid standing by, done with whatever conversation they were engrossed in only a few minutes before.

“You picked O’Farrell?” Fillmore asked, quizzically. “Actually, on second thought, I’m not _that_ surprised. From what I know about you, you guys are basically a match made in dream team heaven.”

“Really?” Ron was slightly shocked that even the _others_ thought they were a good pair. “Maybe it was just meant to be.”

Kim’s Kimmunicator beeped and she picked it up, turning it on. “What’s the sitch, Wade? Any updates?”

“Yes, actually. I managed to do some information gathering and a little bit of data mining and I managed to figure out where Drakken’s base is!”

“Wow, that guy’s good,” Fillmore commented, watching from afar with the others. “Watch out Ingrid, you got some serious competition on your hands.”

She lightly punched him in the shoulder in response. “Eh, there’s nothing wrong with having another genius around, as long as they’re not another Parnassus.”

“So, believe it or not, it’s actually located in the school somewhere!”

Kim sighed, unable to comprehend Drakken’s stupidity when it came to lair-choosing and modeling. “Of course it is, It’s like he _wanted_ us to find it. Ignoring that, _where_ is it exactly located?”

“That’s the problem,” Wade stated, once again having to be the harbinger of bad news and disappointment. “I don’t know exactly _where_ yet, just that it’s here, like as in a specific general area. I _know_ I can find out, but I don’t exactly know how long that might take me, so in the meantime, try to find out where it is and I’ll you know when I have some definite coordinates.”

Kim nodded, turning off the Kimmunicator, though she knew that trying to find it would be looking for a needle in a haystack, considering the gargantuan size of the school. “Well, it looks like we got some work to do.”

Fillmore walked up beside her, patting her shoulder. “Hey, man, you got the best darn detectives in X Middle School right here, we’ll be able to find it in no time.”

O’Farrell’s stomach growled and he clutched it. “Can we get some food first? It’s almost lunch and I’m starving!”

“I vouch!”

“Ron, you _just_ ate.”

“I _know_ that KP, but I’m _still_ hungry!”

Kim sighed, not wanting to pick a fight with her boyfriend, at least not over the topic of food, something which Ron would fight to the death over. “Fine, we can get lunch and _then_ solve the mystery.”

“What about the others?” Ingrid asked, pointing to the kids who were still running amuck among them.

“I got this.” Fillmore walked up towards the door that lead into the hallways of hell. 

“Everyone stop what you’re doing and listen to me,” Surprisingly, every safety patroller stopped, turning their eyes and attention to Fillmore. “I know it has been a rough few hours but is _this_ how we’re supposed to act? Are we really letting this incident get the better of ourselves? We _will_ find Vallejo, but until then, we need to act like he’s still here. So stop doing all this crazy stuff, pick up the desks, pick up the chairs and _act normal, please.”_

For a second, there was anxious silence as the five waited to see how the rest of the patrol would respond. To their relief, they just shrugged and started picking up the tables and chairs, the ‘END IS NIGH’ kid from before threw his sign into the trash before helping someone pick up a fallen desk.

Ingrid walked up to him, an impressed look on her face. “You really do have a way with these people, huh? I’m sure you’ll make an excellent Junior Commissioner when the time comes.”

Fillmore looked visibly uncomfortable for a mere moment before shaking his head. “Yea, I’m… I’m sure I will too, come on, let’s go.”

From the furthest corner of the headquarters, a familiar female figure could be seen, watching the three patrollers and Team Possible leave, a deep snarl on her face. They zipped out of sight, leaving not even a mere trace of evidence behind to indicate they were ever there in the first place.

At the cafeteria, Ron scarfed down a second helping of burgers while talking to O’Farrell about weird and unusual things such as hairless pets. Kim got a small salad, obviously full from her previous lunch at Middleton High, and Ingrid got the same. However, all Fillmore got was a few fries and a baked potato, which he was picking at absentmindedly. 

Kim noticed this and decided to ask him if anything was wrong. “Hey, Fillmore, you alright? You haven’t really touched your food.”

“Neither have you,” He responded, though it wasn’t in a tone of smugness or sass, he just simply seemed rather disinterested and troubled. “But I suppose I’m just worried about Vallejo and all that.”

“I can tell that’s not the case,” Ingrid said to her partner, adding onto the conversation. “If there’s something wrong, you know you can tell us.”

“I… I don’t know,” Fillmore sighed, stabbing the potato. “I guess it just has to do with the whole Junior Commissioner thing.”

“Junior Commissioner?” Kim asked, before remembering what Ingrid had said to Fillmore before they left for lunch. “Is this about what Ingrid said to you earlier?”

“It is,” Ingrid replied, bluntly. “While Vallejo isn’t going to be going to high school for a few more months, it’s pretty obvious that once Vallejo graduates, he’ll have Fillmore become his successor. While you might be wondering why, Fillmore and I are practically the best around, and being the best comes at a cost.”

“Oh,” Kim took this new info in. She knew that she wouldn’t want to be forced into a job she didn’t want but did Fillmore really have a choice? “I take it you _don’t_ want to be Junior Commissioner?”

“I’m not saying I _don’t_ want to be Junior Commissioner, I’m just not ready for it yet, dawg,” He responded, not looking them in the eyes. “What if I mess something up? I’m pretty good at doing that and everyone who’s been here more than a day _knows_ that.”

“That’s why you have _us,_ Fillmore,” Ingrid held his hand. “I’d be there to help you out whenever you would need it and besides, even if you did mess up a bit, that’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes, I doubt Vallejo was the Junior Commissioner he is now when _he_ first started.”

Fillmore chuckled slightly. “Rookie Vallejo, huh? Hard to imagine, to be honest, but thanks anyway, Ingrid.”

“Anytime.” She said, softly smiling.

Kim decided that now was the time to talk business. “So, do you guys have any idea where Drakken’s secret layer could be? I mean, you must know where all the suspicious rooms would be at, right?”

Fillmore nodded. “We do, it’s just, there’s _so_ many of them, it’d take _forever._ ”

Kim sighed, knowing the boy had a point. “Well, it looks like finding out where is all we _can_ do right now, so where should we start?”

“Maybe-”

“It’s so obvious!” O’Farrell interrupted Fillmore, excitedly. “I was telling Ron this, but I think I know where the super-secret lair might be!”

“Where?” His fellow Safety Patroller responded, bored and unamused. “This better not be a joke, O’Farrell. This is a serious matter and we don’t have _time_ for any jokes.”

“Fillmore, let him talk. We need all the help we can right now.” 

He looked at his partner, mulling her words over before sighing in defeat. “Fine. This better be good.”

Everyone’s attention swiveled over to the photographer, who gulped nervously, not used to being in the spotlight. Perhaps he was wondering if telling his idea was such a good idea after all. 

“I know you’re going to say ‘That only happens in cartoons’, but there has to be a secret and conveniently placed lever or mechanism in this cafeteria that leads to the hideout!” O’Farrell jumped up and walked towards the wall. “Like a loose brick or something!”

They stared at him for a few moments before Fillmore turned back towards Kim. “So, as I was saying-”

Now it was Ron’s turn to jump up. “Hey! You guys can’t just leave him hanging like that! I thought his idea was incredible and not _cliche in the slightest!”_

He walked towards O’Farrell, crossing his arms in defiance. “You people really need to pay my dude here some respect.”

While Kim looked at the two, a look of pity and sympathy in her eyes, Ingrid and Fillmore simply continued to ignore them, obviously used to O’Farrell’s shenanigans. O’Farrell sighed, leaning against the wall. “Forget it, Ron. They don’t care and they never will.”

Suddenly, one of the bricks that he was leaning on beeped, causing him to jump up in surprise. The bricks beside it whirled and clicked before moving away, revealing that it was nothing more than a facade to hide an entrance to places unknown.

Everyone else got up and walked over to the opening, shocked beyond belief, Fillmore and Ingrid especially. “Was… Was O’Farrell right?”

“Looks like it,” Ingrid commented, stepping into the hidden secret entrance with the others. All it lead to was a giant hole in the floor, complete with a ladder. It looked like the only way to go would be down.

“Boo-yah!” Ron shouted, high-fiving O’Farrell. “You did it little man, Ron-style. Now all we gotta do it transcend into the pits of darkness and save your boss! I hope you’re not scared of the dark like I am.”

“Only a little,” The boy commented, looking down into the ominous hole. Students have begun to gather around the entrance as Fillmore tried to shush them off, telling them to go back to their tables. “But I can handle it, I can do anything!”

Fillmore rejoined them, walking up to Kim. “You think this is it? Never seen _this_ side of the school before.”

She shrugged, slightly unsure herself. “I’m not positive, but I guess it’s the best place to start looking. Vallejo, here we come.”

Deep down in the parts of the unknown, a dark blue man laughed manically, holding up what looked to be a tiny popcorn-making machine. He turned around, eyeing the only other figure in the room, Junior Commissioner Vallejo. Vallejo was tied up to one of Drakken’s many machines, clearly unhappy. “So, Wade, are you ready to tell me how this mythical _thing_ works?”

“For the last time, I’m _NOT_ Wade, I’m Vallejo, I don’t know who this Wade-guy is, but I’m _not_ him!” Vallejo snapped, trying to break free of his binds to no avail.

“You can keep telling yourself that, Wade, but when I finally figure out how to use this ultrapowerful super-weapon, you’re the one who’s gonna be sorry!”

The boy groaned, knowing that whatever he would say would simply fall on deaf ears. “It’s not a super- wait… If I tell you how to use it, will you let me go?”

“Mmm… Maybe.”

Suddenly the doors to the lair opened and a very ticked off lady entered, a giant scowl on her face and her hands sparking with potent green energy. “DRAKKEN!”

“Shego!” Drakken beamed, a giant and demented smile on his face. “You’re just in time to see me _finally_ get some answers out of the nerd boy! With this powerful weapon in my grasp and with the smartest man alive, world domination is at our fingertips!”

“That’s not the nerd boy!” Shego growled, breaking the villain out of his trance.

“WHAT?!” Drakken shrieked, his face contorting into one of utmost horror and embarrassment.

“Impossible! I… uh… You know I need new contacts, Shego! I just saw the blue clothes and the hair color and I thought ‘It’s Kim Possible’s weirdo tech buddy!’ Wait, if that’s _not_ that smart boy, then who is that?!”

“I told you, I’m Vallejo!” The Junior Commissioner’s patience was wearing extremely thin and all he wanted to do was get out of here.

“Okay, first of all,” The villainess muttered out through bared teeth, trying ever so hard not to rip the man in front of her apart. “Why would _he_ of all people be at X Middle School, to begin with?! And secondly, how exactly are we going to get this so-called weapon to work _without_ Wade?!”

“I...uh…” Drakken stuttered, trying not to lose composure in the face of Shego’s bear-like wrath. “I can make it up to you! I… I… I’ll go kidnap that brainiac and bring him back here, pronto!”

_“No dice,”_ She snarled, grabbing Drakken by his shirt collar and dragging him up to eye-level. “Kimmie and the rest of the Dweeb Patrol are already investigating the little _incident_ at X Middle School that _you_ stirred up.”

“They’re not dweebs,” Vallejo retorted. “Both of you are _really_ lucky that I’m stuck here or else-”

Shego shut him up by glaring and generating her infamous green energy. Seeing him quiet down at the mere implication of getting a beatdown from her, she turned back to Drakken, still glaring knives. “Now listen here, Dr. D. We’re playing a very dangerous game here, if we don’t want to fail _again_ , we better play it safe for a couple of days. Wait for the whole hullabaloo to settle down and _then_ we can kidnap the _real_ Wade. Either that or we just figure out how to work the weapon ourselves.”

Drakken rubbed his chin, mulling over his partner in crime’s words. “I see, very well, we shall do it _your way._ What about the prisoner?”

The two turned back towards Vallejo, though he said nothing and just stared back awkwardly. “What about him? We’re not letting him go if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Why not?!” Drakken pouted, clearly not taking a liking to the kidnapped boy. “He sounds all nasally and weird and _I don’t like him!”_

“I _don’t_ sound nasally.”

“Doc’s got a point,” Shego commented. “You sound more like a 30-year old man than a _supposedly_ 14-year-old kid. Unles you’re _actually_ a 30-year old and you’ve been pretending to be 14?”

Vallejo let out a low growl, not used to being pushed around like this. “Like I was saying, you’re _very lucky_ I can’t move or I’d make you _eat those words._ ”

Once again, Shego busted out laughing. “ _You?_ Making _me_ eat my words? I know I said Dr. Drakken confusing you for Wade was hilarious, but this, you kill me, kid.”

“I’m not lying.”

“I appreciate your gracious offer, but I could blast you all the way to Venezuela without even lifting a finger. So, fake-cop, unless you want to feel the wrath of a thousand suns, you better sit still and look pretty.”

Vallejo didn’t say anything but continued to glare at the female. Meanwhile, she got an idea. “Hey, I know! Why don’t we give him to DNAmy? She hasn’t had any humans to experiment on in a while!”

_“What?!”_ Vallejo was now officially getting freaked out. What was this place? Somewhere probably located in the bowels of the dark web, that’s for sure. Human experimentation was _extremely_ illegal and now he was probably going to be a part of it.

“Hmm,” Drakken murmured, thinking it over. “DNAmy _is_ a possibility, but well... I’m just...“

“Embarrassed over the fact she chose Monkey Fist over you?” Shego smirked, knowing she was hitting a delicate and sensitive spot for the mad scientist.

“No, of course not, who cares about stupid Monkey Fist anyways? There are just too many other villains to choose from! You’ve got Motor Ed, Duff Killigan-”

Before Drakken could list any more villains, the entrance blew open, revealing Team Possible, tagged along with Fillmore, Ingrid, and O’Farrell. Kim smiled deviously at her old arch-nemesis. “Drakken, Shego. I hope we’re not interrupting anything.”

“Oh, Kimmie, the only thing you’re interrupting is your _demise!_ ” Before anyone could react, Shego was already on the girl with her green-power fists, slicing and slashing, trying to hit a vital point.

Thankfully, Kim was used to fighting with Shego and was able to dodge her attacks with grace. She looked back towards the others. “Ron, O’Farrell, go save Vallejo! Fillmore, Ingrid, get Drakken!”

The team nodded before running off to do their respective roles. Drakken tried to stop Ron and O’Farrell from reaching Vallejo, but Fillmore and Ingrid managed to block the way. Drakken tried to lunge at Ingrid and get her out of the way, but her partner was quick to roundhouse kick him in the stomach.

Rufus jumped out of Ron’s pocket and bit at the ropes binding Vallejo, allowing him to escape from his trap, though he quickly fell on the floor. O’Farrell grabbed him, helping the Junior Commissioner up. “You okay?”

“Yea, I’m fine,” He stated, dusting himself off. “Thanks.”

“Don’t worry chief,” Ron stated, helping Rufus back into his pocket. “We got you covered.”

Vallejo noticed the fight going on and looking at Shego, narrowed his eyes. “I’ll be back. I got something I got to take care of first.”

Meanwhile, Kim and Shego were still dramatically fighting one another, throwing and dodging kicks and punches left and right. Unfortunately, despite being a professional at this kind of stuff, Kim made one little slip-up during the dirty catfight and Shego was able to punch her in the stomach, sending her rolling on the floor.

The green and black-clothed villainess laughed, approaching the wounded Kim, each hand sporting the deadly emerald energy she loved to use so much. Fillmore and Ingrid were quick to ditch Drakken, trying to help their friend, but Shego managed to push them away with ease, also sending them to the floor. _“This_ is _your_ team, Kimmie? I would have a harder time fighting somebody’s grandma than if I were to fight with you.”

For a second, Kim felt hopeless, before she noticed something and smiled, which only served to make Shego even more infuriated than before, growling menacingly. “What’s so funny? You _lost.”_

“Not exactly.”

Before Shego could respond, she felt a fist connect with her face, sending her flying towards the wall. She hit it with a loud ‘thud’ and fell to the ground, unconscious. The attacker, none other than Vallejo, stood there, a vengeful smirk on his face.

_“I told you I’d make you eat those words.”_

“SHE-ugh…” Drakken tried to yell out Shego’s name, before the pain of being kicked in the stomach came back, causing him to clutch it in agony while moaning dramatically. “Ow…”

“You okay?” Fillmore asked, coming over to Kim. He was a little shaken, concern etched on his face. “That was quite a punch you took, though I think Shego over there got one even worse.”

Kim got up, shaking herself off. “I’m fine, I’d be more worried about Ingrid and you.”

“We’re fine as well,” Fillmore’s partner stated, getting up as well. “Wait, where’s Shego?”

They turned back towards the evil woman, only to find nothing there. Suddenly, they heard the roar of a loud engine and saw Drakken in some kind of hovering motor-car, the unconscious Shego in the passenger seat. “So long, Kim Possible and… uh… Stupidable?” 

_“Stoppable!”_

“Whatever, see you- ow- later, nerds!” And with that, Drakken flew the hovercar upwards, leaving a giant hole in the middle of the school, his crazed laughter slowly dying as he got further and further away.

“And here I thought we could go one day _without_ some horrific destruction to the school,” Vallejo groaned, rubbing his head. “Guess I was wrong.”

“Hey, at least it wasn’t me this time,” Fillmore said with a smug tone in his voice. “Should we go after him?”

“While Drakken _might’ve_ escaped, I don’t think you have to worry about him coming back to X Middle School anytime soon.” Kim then noticed an object on the ground and picked it up. “What’s this?”

“ _That’s_ the thing they were trying to steal,” Vallejo stated, eyeing it. “I don’t exactly know what it does, but it _certainly_ isn’t something world-domination worthy.”

“X has been going _nuts_ without it!”

“That’s not the only thing X has been going crazy about,” Fillmore said, adding onto O’Farrell’s statement. “The Patrol’s been off the handle without you, man. We missed you, Vallejo, it’s good to have you back.”

“And it’s good to _be_ back,” Vallejo replied, clearly glad to not be tied up and constricted anymore. “I don’t know what that weird kidnapper’s problem is, but he _needs_ glasses, maybe a new brain too.”

“Trust me, we know he does,” Kim responded, holding back a small chuckle, before looing at the machine once more. “I think it’s about time we returned this back to its rightful place.”

Back on ground level, the science kids behind the mysterious object were extremely glad to have it back, cradling it like a baby.

“Thank you, thank you!” One of them said, giving Kim a quick hug. “Now we can win the science fair _and_ help create cleaner and non-polluted food!”

“Huh?” She asked, confused by what they said.

“Oh, did I say that out loud? Well, since you guys _did_ help rescue it, I suppose we _could_ fill you in on what it’s about,” The girl said, looking over some notes. “It detects poisonous and toxic particles on any kind of food and releases a special spray that destroys it! Viruses, bacteria, any kind of gross thing, it stops it!”

“So I can finally eat garbage without any regrets or worries?!” Ron asked and was met with weird stares. “You know, if I ever _needed_ to, not that I _want_ to.”

“Oh, uh… sure?”

“Boo-yah!”

Meanwhile, O’Farrell sat on one of the hallway walls, clearly deep in thought. Fillmore noticed the boy and sat down next to him. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much. I… just… do you guys really _care_ about me? I mean, I know I _did_ find the secret lair, but that was just by _chance!_ You guys weren’t even going to listen to me before that! Am I really that expendable?”

  
  
“O’Farrell, we _do_ care about you,” Fillmore began, looking away, an ashamed look on his face. “Everyone does, but, I guess you have a point. We really haven’t been giving you enough credit, without you, who knows how long it would’ve taken to find this place, we’d probably be too late to even _do anything._ You’re not expendable, just a little odd.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

The photographer gave Fillmore a tight hug. “Thanks.”

He didn’t say anything back but just nodded in return.

Meanwhile, in _another_ one of Drakken’s secret lairs, the now awake Shego was tending to her wounds, mostly her swollen face, scowling at her partner’s comments.

“You gotta admit, that Vallejo has some skill,” Drakken reflected, watching his colleague.

“Stop rubbing it in my face,“ Shego groaned, very displeased with how the situation turned out. “It’s bad enough that we’ve lost _again,_ but _I_ got decked in the face by a toddler!”

“He’s only 6 years younger than you.”

“Well, he has the size and attitude of a toddler, all… small and bossy.”

“I wouldn’t say mean things like that, you never know who’s listening,” Drakken grinned, a devious scheme in his mind, before gasping dramatically. “Oh my, Shego, look! It’s Vallejo, he’s back!”

_“Where?!”_ Shego freaked out, looking around for the aforementioned Junior Commissioner before realizing it was a joke. She let out a screech of fury before storming away towards Drakken, her hands flaring with green energy.

“Wait, Shego- WAIT-” A bunch of screaming and crying filled the background as Drakken attempted to escape from his enraged comrade.


End file.
